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There’s always one woman who’s lingered on the thirty-strong panel for such a long time that she’s more of a resident than the usual contestant.

There’s always one woman who’s lingered on the thirty-strong panel for such a long time that she’s more of a resident than the usual contestant.

Invariably stout that is she’s possesses a very good local accent, and lists her hobbies, buddies, and aspirations as kitties. “Ooooh, a luv kitties, me personally, they’re simply like small people, aren’t they? I prefer t’dress them oop in fayree lights!” Wilfully explaining by by herself as ‘a bit bonkers’ or ‘a genuine nutter’, she’s the type of individual who would encourage also Gandhi to repeatedly thwack himself into the skull with a claw hammer.

The next round, in the event that guys are ‘lucky’ enough to progress that far, may be the movie round.

Footage from the contestant’s life – of their relatives and buddies, hobbies and task – plays on a huge display screen behind the assembled horde. The section operates such as for instance a cross amongst the Best-Bits montage from your government, therefore the two-minutes-hate, additionally from your government. Thankfully, proof of exorbitant narcissism from the area of the contestant that is male always penalized with a Mexican-wave of button-jamming (some narcissism is just a pre-requisite); depressingly, proof of kindness and altruism is apparently penalized in the same way seriously.

“I’ve been Gerry’s best mate since we had been children, plus in the period he’s cared for their terminally sick grandmother right through to her agonising end, brought a crow returning to life, rescued eighty-five puppies from a wheat-thresher, pardoned Somalia’s debt, cured malaria, and donated nearly all of their organs to dying kiddies.”

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